Lots of feelings roll around inside. I know you know! It’s all the stuff our hearts have shared as sisters of one Heavenly Father all these many years.
You the lengthier in faith, I’ve always looked up to you for direction. I have in the past downright demanded you to assist me with my angst of doing faith wrong. (Ha ha – like chasing you down the elementary school hallway and into the Media Center, ignoring all your attempts to shoo me away!)
And then again there’s been a couple of rare moments when I believe I’ve gone a few steps before you! Ha… rare moments indeed. However, regardless of the season, whether faith, parenting, marriage, relocation and now grand-parenting, God has been faithful to connect us at just the right times for mutual encouragement.
You know, almost as much I, about God calling me and my dear man out to the desert. I’ve tried in desperation sometimes to find the words to describe what He has shown me in my imagination. At times, in the most recent years, I’ve shared tears of fear and angst, anger and frustration as I felt helpless to find the appropriately descriptive words to help you (along with the most important people in our lives) see the path on which we tread.
How does one see into God’s vision for a life path and then form earthly broken words to adequately communicate His way?
All I know to do is to go back to His words. Read them. Repeat them. Memorize them until they come out of my mouth as my very own vocabulary. And pray that He will help me communicate His invisible voice in a fact based scientific world.
“Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.”Psalm 86:11
And then one day as I lamented the ridiculous idea that we could ever pull up 34-year-old roots and transplant them in the arid desert on the other side of the country; you answered me with His words. Words that fed my heart and filled my mind with possibility.
“Two fish and five loaves are more than enough to get a miracle started.”
Jess, you heard from His Spirit the answer I needed to take the next step of obedience, and you spoke the manna to me out of your own obedience to Him. These few words still carry me and sometimes are the total of my ability to comprehend this past year.
Please let me hear from you so I can know how you, too, are experiencing Him as you walk your own desert path. I look forward to your thoughts through words.
Thank you, Jess. Thanks doesn’t seem enough, but between sisters…you know…I love you.