Welcome to Marriage One Liners featuring the practical wisdom of my dear man, Randy Brittain, with my commentary to translate into wife-speak.
This blog page is meant to bring laughter to your life and hopefully a few conversation starters.
There’s no guarantee you’ll find these Marriage One Liners funny and there’s no guarantee that your marriage will improve by following along. However, if we offer something that causes you to think and perhaps crack a smile at normal marriage interactions, we may have helped just a tad.
Unfortunately, we didn’t major on laughter and joy in our first 20 years of marriage. We were amazingly adept at working hard, creating a family with a conservative budget and solid investments. However, we should have been learning how to laugh at ourselves, not taking ourselves so seriously, and creating joyful memories.
God has been gracious to us and with the help of our beloved late counselor, Dr. Doug Rosenau, we learned to major on laughter and joy! Now married 35 years, my dear man regularly delivers what we call Marriage One Liners. He makes me laugh, but there’s some true wisdom in his words.
I thought we should record these and share them with others. We pray that God by the whimsical power of His Holy Spirit will use these to help you in your marriage.
If you are related to us and you’re embarrassed, we understand.
❤️love from the fun couple…
Page 9
“If I ever meet your first husband, I’m going to tell him a thing or two!”
Randy Brittain
While he finished speaking these words, it took me a moment to process the sentiment. Because he is my first, and only, husband.
I began to laugh, and responded, “ Oh, you would, wouldn’t you!”
His goal each day is to make me laugh.
Our lives are rich with this type of banter, and laughter. We believe these moments keep us young, somewhat sane, and create enjoyment in married life. Before my one and only dear man left the room, he looked at me with an accomplished grin and said, “I already made you laugh today.”
Page 8
“No Take Backs”
Gary Milford, the father of the bride
This probably should be page 1, and most likely, one day when we actually publish the book, it will be page one of Marriage One Liners.
It was The Agreement between gentlemen.
Page 7
“Please stop answering what you think I’m asking.”
Lisa Brittain
I know. I know. He writes the marriage one liners, and I explain them.
However, just the other day as we were conversing, I started to laugh. You know those moments when you just get tickled, and you can’t stop laughing?
Page 6
“It took us about 30 minutes to adjust to the empty nest!”
Randy Brittain
Some of you are gone. You’re clicking out because that one-liner just sounds harsh. However, a few of you want to know more.
We, many times, but not always, find that the husbands are looking forward to an empty nest because he craves a return to married life with the wife of his youth. At the same time, most often, the wives are sending their youngest child off with some sense of angst, and a momma heart fully grieving a seemingly lost role.
So, just to be clear, please read and understand that we absolutely love our two sons. We did when they each left home, and we do now. Each of our men know this to be true, and they know we’re really proud of who they are becoming without our day to day parenting.
Page 5
“Expect nothing. Appreciate everything.”
Randy Brittain
“Expect nothing. Appreciate everything!”
2020. Yeah, I know. But some good things were mined from that dark and chaotic time in history. This quote printed on a coffee mug is one of them.
We ventured out to do a little shopping amongst the masked and unmasked. It was a time when some of us tried to make eye contact and share a smile while others ducked and walked the other way. Everyone was walking in their own shoes.
We grabbed hold of this one-liner and made it our own.
Page 4
“I left my boxes in Atlanta!”
Randy Brittain
In recent months this quote has become one of our most frequently used one-liners. But it could be a bit confusing unless we explain the context.
A year ago, our home in Lilburn, Georgia was full of boxes. We had stacks of donated boxes ready to be unfolded and taped and filled. We had rooms collecting filled boxes that had already been taped and labeled. The boxes went on the moving van and followed us all the way.
Read the rest by clicking here .
Page 3
“We’re supposed to learn to celebrate in the desert.”
Randy Brittain
What does it mean to celebrate?
I’m sure we all have our own definitions. However, in our definition a celebration would typically occur in the aftermath of a perceived victory.
Page 2
“It’s good to see some toe cleavage!”
Randy Brittain
This is our first desert winter. And we’ve been cold. To be totally honest, we’ve been wondering if we missed the fine print disclosure on the marketing brochure regarding winter prep.
Apparently though, according to more seasoned inhabitants, snow in the mountains is highly unusual at the beginning of April. So, even though we live down in the palm trees, it’s been all closed-toe shoes for us since November!
Read the rest by clicking here
Page 1
“Good morning, sweetheart. Are you ready for your coffee?”
Randy Brittain
The fact that he knows that my love language is waking up to a nearly boiling, aroma-filled cup of strong black coffee is glorious. The fact that I never asked him to serve me coffee in bed as my eyes peek open is a miracle!
When we started out as newlyweds we were highly influenced by intricately woven strands of church culture and relationship norms of the 1980’s. That was quite a hybrid weave.
As such I made it known pre-marriage that I wouldn’t be starching and ironing his professional wear. And he let me know that he didn’t drink coffee and thus didn’t make coffee. (This was pre-Keurig)
The firm line of independence ran deep in our young minds and hearts and thus was well marked within our relationship unto death us do part. We didn’t think we were being mean or uncaring or inconsiderate. We were newly married American professionals who went to church and suffered first world problems.
But God met us in the center of that line some 15 years ago and began to open our eyes, unclench our fingers and breathe life and love upon our hearts. He’s still renewing our minds and restoring our hearts. Humbly, we’ve accepted His invitation to “Come and Learn” under His graceful tutelage.
And so I say “thank you, my dear man, for knowing how to make coffee and for putting it in just the right cup, and sometimes joining me with your own cup and a morning chat.”
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV
Hugs from the fun couple until next time…
Randy and Lisa
