Failing is easy; just do nothing.
~Lisa Brittain
Success is hard; you have to try 24/7.
This post is dedicated with love and respect for all who are persevering with God in marriage. We’re cheering you on…
37 years… Lots of good, some truly hard seasons, and some real bloopers. But our commitment to God has won the battle every time. He has been faithful. Even during times when it was all just too hard and depressing, God did not give up or walk away. He didn’t let go of us.
Ultimately, we believe that God’s pursuit of us, and His steadfast love and mercy on the daily, is what changed our hearts toward one another.
Selfishness is easy.
Frustration is easy.
Arguing is easy.
Blaming is easy.
SILENCE is easy.
Separate lives… you do you… easy!
But God did the hard things with us and for us. Day in and day out. God taught us what unconditional love and commitment looks like, and then He gave us space to practice.
We could have thrown in the towel so many times. One of us. Both of us. Marriage is hard! But what gain is there without pain?
If you don’t believe us, don’t get married. But living together is even more stressful and difficult and much more likely to fail. It’s too easy to walk away. There’s no commitment to the pain, the celebration and the process.
There’s no free lunch. There’s no celebration without sacrifice. There’s no strength gained in muscles (no muscle memory) without lifting weights and pushing your limits.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”
James 1:2-5 ESV
Most of us know (possibly) how to work hard in our own strength. The difference here is God. He is the commitment keeper. He is the third cord in the strand that binds us together. God loves us first and best. As for us, we messed up a bunch because we tried,most often, to gut it out individually rather than do the harder work of coming together to seek Godly wisdom.
- Call a Christian Counselor.
- Call a pastor.
- Call a Christian friend who can refer you to resources.
- Our church (Southwest Church) offers a counseling center, volunteer marriage coaches, and a pastor of the day. Call 7602002000 and just ask for help.
- God is able to fix anything broken.
But when we learned to fix our eyes on Him, surrender to His ways, and follow – we began to love Him back. We began to put each other first. We began to love our neighbor as ourselves. We began to love each other, and remember our commitment for the long haul.
We give God the glory. He did it – redeemed us. And the good news is that He’s still teaching us. God is stretching us and strengthening us in new ways. God’s still teaching us how to trust Him totally, completely, and with everything. He’s certainly giving us lots of homework in this area.
Here’s what we know experientially, marriage is good. It’s God’s idea. Don’t try to be married without the Creator and Author of this union. Seek Him first and you’ll be alright… eventually. And then you’ll be able to help someone else.
Eyes on Jesus and Shine,
Lisa and Randy
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