Trying to control everything has been wearing me out. If you ever struggle with this you will know what I mean. It’s tiring. It sucks the life out of you. But Jesus came to give life, and every single day is a choice to accept the life he gives, every single day is a choice to follow. You don’t have to worry about it, you can always wait for it. You can always stop what your doing, you can always give it up, give it to god, and wait “patiently” for him. It restores your soul and builds a kind of faith and trust in the Lord that no one can ever take away from you, no matter what happens.
I grew weary of the wrestling and spinning and the voices and the questions and doubts. Honestly, I love that place of surrender! As difficult as it is for me to get there sometimes, it is the best feeling to drop all the baggage I've agreed to carry and crumple at the feet of Jesus.