So far, my conclusion is {depend}ency has to do with perfection.  It feels to me that someone {depend}ent on me expects me to be perfectly available and all-sufficient, all knowing and all present for their every need, all the time.  And I reject that - wholeheartedly I say "NO!" to that kind of expectation placed on me.  I fear that type of suffocating {depend}ency.  I run from it.