Saturday Share with Anna Smit

Welcome to Saturday Share!  

The purpose of this weekly feature is to provide a space for regular people to share their real-life encounters with Jesus.  It’s about living in the middle – on the way to the finish line.  If we still have breath to tell our stories then our race isn’t finished.

I believe we sharpen one another and delight God’s heart when we testify of His great work in our lives.  Be encouraged to put one foot in front of the other, and spur someone on while you’re at it!

So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.  1 Thessalonians 5:11 NLT  

I am honored to introduce to you, my feature Saturday Share writer:

Anna Smit

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ALL THINGS NEW

by Anna Smit 

 

Behold,

I am making all things new
He speaks, deep unto deep
My eyes they turn
There below.

Reeds are swaying
Rustling wind
Waters green, there below
Basket woven, her hands

Release.

My heart it grips
I see my own
Precious gift
From my own hands,

Taken.

No, not in trust
But in tight clenched hands
Lies, they ripped
Precious life,

Stolen.

Behold,

I am making all things new
He speaks, deep unto deep
And my heart it rips
Opens wide.

And pours
Longing deep
Yearning cries:

His precious gift
Returning.

Reeds are swaying
Rustling wind
Waters green, there below
Basket woven, my hands

Receive.

Weeping heart now flows
I see my own
Precious gift
Into my hands,

Returned.

Behold,

I am making all things new
He speaks deep unto deep
My eyes turn to waters green
Resting now in all things:

Christ REDEEMED!

 

Three and a half years ago I came back Home to my Heavenly Father. My journey of more than twenty years as a Prodigal was a journey of tightly clenched hands, while my Mum’s journey was one of God leading her into deeper and deeper surrender of her children into the hands of her Savior.

Now, all these years later, I too am learning how to open my own palms and release one basket after another, trusting in their return, just like my Mum. Oh, how it hurts. Oh, how my heart is ripped open in the process. But oh, how precious the touch of Jesus is in those deep places of hurt within my heart. In the ripping open He is entering my heart to restore and redeem the many wounds inflicted upon me so many years ago.

Oh yes, the enemy knows how to steal, kill and destroy. But our mighty God knows how to restore, resurrect and redeem. And He is faithful till the end. Even when we have clenched those hands tight in distrust and not released what was never ours to hold tight to in control, His mercy runs deep. His heart of compassion and justice have gone ahead. Walking toward His Cross He wept, saying: “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.”

Oh, there are still many days I struggle. As a little girl, God gave me the spiritual gift of mercy. It is this that has broken my heart so very much. As a Prodigal, I cursed this gift that only seemed to steal, kill and destroy me. And even now there are days I retreat with my pain and ask: “Why, oh why, my Lord?” But slowly God is teaching me how to receive this gift, by unclenching my hands.

One way He has been doing that in this past year has been through a Titus 2 woman on the other side of the world. A Grandma of faith who has learnt through deep wounding of her own, how to open her palms and release basket after basket. This woman has taught me that there is Strength to be found in confessing my pride, anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness. In repenting before my sisters and brothers in Christ. In boasting in my weakness. In WAITING in prayer and in the Word before taking action – before fighting or fleeing as the enemy attacks.

How has she done this? NOT by telling me what to do. But by living this herself- by pouring out her heart before me. By entrusting me with her failings and confessing how God has worked in and through these. By PRAYING over, with and for me. By sending me Scriptures and worship songs that have washed over me with the deep love and compassion of my Savior.

I have been deeply hurt by those who teach the Word, but do not live it. I myself have deeply hurt others by teaching the Word and not living it (especially in my home). But this Titus 2 woman has been bringing me to my knees by the power of the Holy Spirit and Word of GOD in her. By her humble and surrendered heart of faith, she has taught me how to open my own palms also.

So now my prayer and greatest heart’s desire is that I too would become a Titus 2 woman. A woman who loves the Lord with her whole heart, mind, body, and soul. A woman spreading the fragrance of our Lord and drawing others to Him. A woman who doesn’t just teach the Gospel, but lives it too. For then, I know I will truly be seeking first the Kingdom of God:

 And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”  Now some of the scribes were sitting there, questioning in their hearts, “Why does this man speak like that?  He is blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?” And immediately Jesus, perceiving in his spirit that they thus questioned within themselves, said to them, “Why do you question these things in your hearts?  Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise, take up your bed and walk’?  But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he said to the paralytic—  “I say to you, rise, pick up your bed, and go home.”  And he rose and immediately picked up his bed and went out before them all so that they were all amazed and glorified God, saying, “We never saw anything like this!”  Mark 2: 5 – 12 ESV

No, I had never seen anything like this either. Until the powerful and palpable Peace descended upon my Mum as she lay dying. It is this that brought me Home. And it is this surrender in my Titus 2 mentor of faith that is leading me further on the path of righteousness my God has set before me. Praise Him!

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:3-5 ESV

 

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Anna is a returned Prodigal of more than twenty years. In September, 2017, she opened Beloved Prodigal, answering God’s call to encourage and strengthen family and friends of Prodigals in the Word and the testimony of their fellow believers. Recently, upon facing a relapse of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, she released this ministry to her Team of writers to begin sharing of God’s love and grace from her place of weakness at her old blog Joy of the Spirit Within. Her vision is to see God’s Light lift the cloud of shame hanging over those suffering from mental illness. Anna would love to connect with you on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.