“What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.” James 4:1-2, NLT
Years ago I ran the ‘mom taxi’ for my two middle school sons and friends. Rarely did we taxi about town sans an argument. “I call shotgun!” “You cheated!” “Stop looking at me” “You’re a _” “I HATE you!” “I’m tellin’…”
I scolded, gave consequences and quoted Scripture. To no avail, I demanded teen boys speak only edifying words to one another. Heart-broken over these word-brawls, we purchased an SUV with three-row seating. Problem solved. I claimed the front row with each son one behind the other. No more carpool unification strategies. I simply chose to divide to keep the peace and protect my sanity.
Afraid of being awarded ‘worst mother’ designation, I’m tempted to scrap this post and pick another topic. However, Holy Spirit reminds me of truth. My sons aren’t the first, nor are they the last siblings to treat each other with such selfish and jealous contempt. My brother and I were no better, but we can trace sibling rivalry through the generations all the way back to Cain and Abel.
The truth is that such behavior is the natural condition of our flesh. Unfortunately, all of God’s children, myself included, at all ages and stages of life are capable of similar unhealthy, unproductive and simply sinful behaviors. And it breaks the Father’s heart.
Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2 NIV
Is the Father’s solution separation? No the plan to divide and conquer is the plot of the evil one. Instead, our Father calls for humility, gentleness, patience, and forbearance all wrapped in love. To seek to live peaceably with all and in unity with His Spirit in love is to bless our Father’s heart and bear much fruit. (Romans 12:18, Colossians 2:2, Ephesians 4:2-3, NIV)
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I have the honor and privilege of writing weekly devotionals for Daughter of Delight on Instagram. This post with some slight variation was first posted as an original devotional for Daughter of Delight on Instagram – 1/13/2018.
I invite you to please take a moment to visit @daughterofdelight on Instagram. I feel certain you’ll be encouraged and refreshed!
Thank you for this encouragement, Lisa. I am walking through those days at the moment with our girls aged 5 and 7. You remind me that instead of just playing referee I have a bigger weapon: prayer. LORD help me to remember to pray for my girls when unkindness leaves their mouths – and give me the courage to repent and turn away from unkindness in my own life too – also in response to my girls. YES! Let the meditations of my heart and the words of my lips be pleasing in Your sight, my Rock and Redeemer.
I agree with you in this prayer, Anna! Amen, yes Lord! Bless you with seeing Jesus in all the mommy moments, my friend! Hugs from across the ocean… Lisa
Dear Lisa,
Thank you for pointing us in the direction of “Daughter of Delight.” I have been enjoying the thought-provoking insights that are offered there! And, your devotional here is full of such good thoughts too. Oh boy, do I remember those days of separating the siblings! 🙂 And yet, I don’t want to stay in that childish position myself, but long to have His peaceful unity grown in my heart. Blessings to you!